During all of my hospital stays this year, I never slept alone. Carmela has stayed each night, sleeping in a nearby chair or on at least one occasion, sleeping in the waiting room. I never asked her to stay, but I don’t think she ever considered not staying. We often talked into the late evening and even woke up to talk in the middle of some nights. Looking back on it now, I can’t imagine going through it all without her there each night, enjoying each other’s company. Later on, out of the hospital, we spent many late nights and early mornings just lying in bed, listening to the radio and talking about whatever. Those have become some of the most favorite times of my life. I also now realize what a lost opportunity it was not to have captured some pinhole images of our sleeping in the hospital. Sleep can be a really interesting subject for pinhole photography, especially if you take images of yourself sleeping. You don’t know what you’re going to look like, how much you’ll move around, what the overall effect will be.
The hospital stays turned out to be a point in time where I wasn’t able to create. Of course, there are lots of ways to excuse this, such as my weakened physical condition and the effects of drugs on my body and mind. But I suspect the real reason I didn’t take any pinhole images was that life seemed just too real and difficult during those stays. Looking back, I feel a bit disappointed in myself for not overcoming all that. At least the thought is in my head now should I find myself in the hospital again.
Some pinhole sleep images